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Kathy Smallwood - Broodmares
On our drive back to change for dinner, we discussed whether or not we would sleep together. Struggling with our fears of losing independence while in a relationship. His realization that until he tackles this hurt he may never be able to love someone with fervor. Short skirt with black tights. It felt good to be with Murse, despite these conversations.
In April I returned to Phoenix. When it comes to knowing when to stop myself from pursuing the great relationship with the wrong guy, saying no initially feels plain bad. The people whom he had loved that had needed him too much. Walking hand in hand through Old Town Scottsdale.
And thus, the relationship with Murse took a new turn, shifting from ebb to flow. Nevertheless, Murse phoned on Thursday when he arrived in town. Even though it is clearly the right thing to do.
Murse invited me to dinner with mutual friends at a quaint restaurant in Scottsdale. He had been thinking about it.
Nevertheless, I was conscious. Murse knew, like me, that he needed to shut down. Perhaps it is his fear of having to take care of someone like his father, his exwife. Expectations Murse could not live up to. He is one hundred percent muscle.
He called me frequently, but one thing became clear as the months progressed. During these dates Murse frequently discussed his fear of commitment. Now, before your hearts get all atwitter at this possible Classmates. Plans which included his daughter, my dad and my three daughters.
Then he asked me to dinner. Watching to see if the conversation would end. We both were too conflicted to admit he was in town just to visit me. It felt good to be pursued.
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